NEW YORK, NY / TIME Newsfeed / Propaganda / June 5, 2010
Be Smarter! Stop Aging! All With North Korea’s Super Drink
By: Dan Fletcher
Be wary, world. Not only does North Korea have a perfect political system — now they have the perfect beverage too.
That’s the word from the country’s official propagan… er, news agency, KCNA. The drink, produced by North Korea’s Moranbong Carbonated Fruit Juice Joint Venture Company, can solve virtually any ill: “It, with effects of both preventive and curative treatment, helps improve mental and retentive faculties by multiplying brain cells. It also protects skin from wrinkles and black spots and prevents such geriatric diseases as cerebral hemorrhage, myocardium and brain infarction by removing acid effete matters in time.”
Removing acid effete matters! Oh, boy! What else can it do?
“It, much higher than quality cosmetics in anti-oxidation capacity, is efficacious for different skin diseases, including allergic dermatitis. It also makes skin fair.”
But wait, there has to be side-effects, right?
“The drink has no side-effect.”
North Korea. A modern marvel in every way. (via BBC, Reuters)
© 2010 Time Inc